The Fear of Boredom (Dump from the Past)

Set the stage for apocalypse
Bring about the end of this
Endless onslaught of vengeance
Taking stock of our sins
Losing redemption
In this blood-red aggression
A steady regression
To the baser instincts of men
You find it offensive
But I find it reflexive
And I find it relieving
To continue berating
Continue releasing
This barrage of intensity
I empty my lungs
To slowly deconstruct
Your weakling persona
Such easy prey
So easily, I destroy the things that matter to me
Call it a hobby, a talent of mine
Take it all in stride
I point out all the flaws I find
until the anger subsides
And all plans go awry
Rightly by my side
Is pain, misery, and strife
Keeping me company, because I find things quite boring when things are precisely how everybody, including me, wanted it all to be
And I find it disturbing, slightly unnerving to have those close to me entwined in these intricacies of pure insanity, all consuming
Take me by the hand
Stand strong against the wind
My anger slips again
Taken out ruthlessly on my only friends
Made my own bed, now I'll lie here and infect
With fury so bad, it's been taken out of hand
Take it back, but I can't cause my way back can't be had
Cause I lost the ones I love
Tossed them to the wolves
Barking and licking at my heels
Had to please the demons to feel
A bit of respite from this burning hell
Kill to survive just another second of time
Tear apart these friends of mine
To seclude myself deep, deep inside
Down within the dark recesses of a violent mind
No light at the end of the tunnel for me to find
Only trains running me down, never ending my life
So I break down, only to find I've been "fixed" again
Fear and insanity stick around as my only friends
The same God damned problems rear their ugly head
And the same God damned cycle begins again

The Last of These (Dump from the Past)

They have noticed the absence, the lengthy recess
My mind has taken, left behind, not waiting
For my triumphant return, no return is coming
That part of me is dead, and will not be rising
I'm finished in this world of collisions
Impromptu events causing rushed decisions
A flurry of thoughts flood my inner vision
Lost my grasp on the reality I've been given
Taken away, Take it away
No need when living only translates to pain
My existence drives me slowly insane
On the brink of a dismal end, I dance dangerously close to the edge
Wedge out the periphery, those close to me
Take them away with a violent ferocity
Undeserved but they get no pity
Cause, in the end, I'm only saving them from my insanities
Only saving them from these ferocious beasts inside of me
They eat at me, gnaw at me, leaving behind nothing but bones and grisle
Found a home in the solace of this lonely vessel
Hollowed out, left for dead and forgotten forever
Not a place in their hearts where I can eternally slumber
Left in the cold of the void of the dead of the night
Nonexistence is both my fear and my holy light
The end of it all is not such a grisly sight
When God doesn't give the comfort I thought he might
And eventual redemption with a loveliest perfect heaven
Isn't much of a comfort when my solitude of sufferance
Comes by means of personal infliction, inherent in my deepest being
What's a heaven eternally, with a hell internally
There isn't any escaping yourself and your own deficiencies
So religion only gives me continued suffering,
And this existentialism I find quite comforting
Without the threat of this life continuing

The Ease of Mortality

Open doors are now closed for yours
When you thought you were young before
You thought of clouds that never came down
Were whatever your imagination could find unfound
But the information age is a sage of doom
Gloom in the womb for whom the bell tolls
So old this tale of misery and woe
That you forget on the other side of the windowpane
Is a place with no more tears, no more pain
Something you tried to repeatedly communicate
When you were a kid but it was always in vain
They'd tell you to grow up again and again
Had no clue they were telling you you'd go insane
But the blessing of the missing pieces of the puzzle
That fuzzed around the edges and lost it's muzzle
Is that when you feel the dark, the light's so bright
And with skill inside and when will comes tried
You can walk and some days you can find your stride
Conquer life with a sword that'll cleave your demons
With words of love coated in semen
Just got to let go when the feeling's thorough
And let the mind blow into the windy bellows
That sweep through the meadows of your open heart
Once started, it's a flame inside a work of art
A parted sea of dreams unseen, but seen before and proven clean
Because we've survived this story a million times
And we'll survive again when we find the rhyme
That what matters not shattered is the sands of time
And when someone tells of nothin'
You can give 'em no nevermind
Cause existence is subsistence and you can't go wrong if you believe in the resistance of negligence and ignorance
Just follow the voice inside that tells you not to waste your time
Not to waste your life
And never, ever put to waste another's peace of mind
Just do what's true and believe in you, and believe that there are no two lesser evils between what you must feud.
There's only patience and awareness and the gift of linear progress
And sometimes regress, but never regrets
Just listen to the distance and see the visions
And touch the ones that are close to your instance
Trsut me, this song is never finished,
You're just a solo that'll flow into the next harmonious
solo that together and together, forever, make the grandest opus
And now the doors are opened, they were never closed
And we're sorry for the moments that that was what you were told
But it's all about perception and the flawed views of objection
That we didn't understand where we thought you came from
And fear can creep in with a quick insurrection
And make us think that you're trying to take away our transient heaven
Don't live in fear, that's the trick of the moment
And for those who correct your path into the darkest thickets
Don't you listen, they just don't get what it is, your passion
You're climbing the same tree, but from where you be,
It looks like they're digging roots and you're feeling the breeze
And it's a mirror image from their blissful release
Because suffering is a myth of the ages
We enjoy our transgressions, even if we don't admit their existence
Mortality is a gift that supports infinity.

Terrified

Terrified,
these are the reasons:
too many decisions to choose from
nothing fits me quite right, y'know?
what if it isn't really all that great?
but everything they do is so... fake
where is the money in all of this?
where is the meaning in all of this?
will everyone be happy with what i choose?
am i just giving up and lowering my standards?
what if i fail?

This is the Reason:
What if I succeed?
Does the story really start there?
Or is it just the beginning of...
Terrified.