No Hope for the Hopeless (Dump from the Past)

You try to tempt fate
but you annihilate any chance of redemption
Of that long-sought connection
Lost because you lost your direction
Amongst the disarray and confusion
You destroy anything left to your decisions
With much personal derision
You encounter the end of the limits that your mind can function
Taken from your hands, control is rarely given
Out to those who might really need it
Could properly apply it, could accurately display this
Illusion of granduer, blasphemous slander
Endless banter, slightly slanted in an evil fashion
A darkest passion, born from the likes of humankind
It's a facet in the stone of the human mind
Something we need to learn to realign
But they reject your thoughts, purely in spite
Of the fact that they value the find
The key to a better, hopeful life
Of progress instead of strife
Because it's a damned hard thing to change a human's patterns
You got to understand, you're changing the human condition
Laying waste to hundreds of decades of "divine" opinion
Stating a reckoning to the untold billions, the uncounted minions,
The discounted freedoms they force-feed us in these god-damned beast cages
All held-fast by the sins we created out of our own volition
Violations of our mind, body, logic, emotion
Only an option because of exploitation
By the elite, bourgeoisie, divinely appointed,
These "leaders" we deem of superior opinion
Because we can't seem to trust our own decisions
So we look for someone that can shoulder the burden
And in exchange, they get our hearts and our passions
All in the name of nationalism, or in today's age, patriotism
But you prefer something akin to individualism
An individual responsibility given to each of us
And at birth, removed through a lengthy process
A well-nuanced study of the human conscience
Secretly advanced under the name of "government"
More accurately christened "Population Control Attendants"
They tell us everything that is good for us
Tell us of everything that is recommended thusly
With the mistaken notion that they're inherently trustworthy
Forcing just questioning into the fabled stuff of conspiracies
You're labeled an outcast because of your political and societal theories
Essentially, you find it very frustrating, mortally infuriating
Hopeless to change the condition of anything
Because the fact of the matter is no one is listening
They're all content to continue on casually
Like sheep with a shepherd, onto the slaughtering

The Last of These (Dump from the Past)

They have noticed the absence, the lengthy recess
My mind has taken, left behind, not waiting
For my triumphant return, no return is coming
That part of me is dead, and will not be rising
I'm finished in this world of collisions
Impromptu events causing rushed decisions
A flurry of thoughts flood my inner vision
Lost my grasp on the reality I've been given
Taken away, Take it away
No need when living only translates to pain
My existence drives me slowly insane
On the brink of a dismal end, I dance dangerously close to the edge
Wedge out the periphery, those close to me
Take them away with a violent ferocity
Undeserved but they get no pity
Cause, in the end, I'm only saving them from my insanities
Only saving them from these ferocious beasts inside of me
They eat at me, gnaw at me, leaving behind nothing but bones and grisle
Found a home in the solace of this lonely vessel
Hollowed out, left for dead and forgotten forever
Not a place in their hearts where I can eternally slumber
Left in the cold of the void of the dead of the night
Nonexistence is both my fear and my holy light
The end of it all is not such a grisly sight
When God doesn't give the comfort I thought he might
And eventual redemption with a loveliest perfect heaven
Isn't much of a comfort when my solitude of sufferance
Comes by means of personal infliction, inherent in my deepest being
What's a heaven eternally, with a hell internally
There isn't any escaping yourself and your own deficiencies
So religion only gives me continued suffering,
And this existentialism I find quite comforting
Without the threat of this life continuing

Terrified

Terrified,
these are the reasons:
too many decisions to choose from
nothing fits me quite right, y'know?
what if it isn't really all that great?
but everything they do is so... fake
where is the money in all of this?
where is the meaning in all of this?
will everyone be happy with what i choose?
am i just giving up and lowering my standards?
what if i fail?

This is the Reason:
What if I succeed?
Does the story really start there?
Or is it just the beginning of...
Terrified.