The Last of These (Dump from the Past)

They have noticed the absence, the lengthy recess
My mind has taken, left behind, not waiting
For my triumphant return, no return is coming
That part of me is dead, and will not be rising
I'm finished in this world of collisions
Impromptu events causing rushed decisions
A flurry of thoughts flood my inner vision
Lost my grasp on the reality I've been given
Taken away, Take it away
No need when living only translates to pain
My existence drives me slowly insane
On the brink of a dismal end, I dance dangerously close to the edge
Wedge out the periphery, those close to me
Take them away with a violent ferocity
Undeserved but they get no pity
Cause, in the end, I'm only saving them from my insanities
Only saving them from these ferocious beasts inside of me
They eat at me, gnaw at me, leaving behind nothing but bones and grisle
Found a home in the solace of this lonely vessel
Hollowed out, left for dead and forgotten forever
Not a place in their hearts where I can eternally slumber
Left in the cold of the void of the dead of the night
Nonexistence is both my fear and my holy light
The end of it all is not such a grisly sight
When God doesn't give the comfort I thought he might
And eventual redemption with a loveliest perfect heaven
Isn't much of a comfort when my solitude of sufferance
Comes by means of personal infliction, inherent in my deepest being
What's a heaven eternally, with a hell internally
There isn't any escaping yourself and your own deficiencies
So religion only gives me continued suffering,
And this existentialism I find quite comforting
Without the threat of this life continuing