Insert Title of Choice Here

Have You No Shame? (Not if You Don't Know my Name)

2012-01-03T18:21:00.004-06:00

Inherent insanity is fabricated fantasy

gone with the plans of the handy man

that found within his plan thirteen hidden strands

that fanned out beneath and then he seen

three things, three things

you couldn't retrieve

with a hidden seive inside of tealeaves

squeezing the brain stealing my mind

I climb inside and find entwined

within the vines is my past playfully

characterized, a theater of the

enamored mind, I got the time

so I sit the fuck down and enjoy the ride.

The fly, tight, hippest ride.

And when I get up, I'm

just like when I started

this rhyme The bitter sarcasm festers inside,

like little orgasms of massive fascism,

classist face jism,

hold your racism,

and just a dash of your sexist

totalitarianism prism.

Christened upon the cross that I liked a lot.

Sure did, I thought, got caught,

then ran, saw the cops,

flashed my brights and drove the fuck off.

Rehearsed this verse in a hearse,

the worst I saw was a nurse, lips pursed,

me first, you're cursed.

Now kiss the dirt.

From the tip of my cock-rocket,

I thrust inert.

You laugh,

sure.

Now, we know what lies in your future.

The Essence of Love

2011-03-09T01:30:00.003-06:00

So, there's this chick I've been... seeing, I guess, for about... three months to six months, give or take. For reasons my current lovers are sure to understand, the preceding time that it took for me to perceive that I, in fact, have fallen in love has been what some people might call a blur, so please excuse the inconsistencies.

Anyways, I have fallen in love. Now, what is love? Some flighty, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling that you have for someone? Yes, but not completely. The belief that you can spend the rest of your life with someone for the rest of eternity? Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses, it ain't like that, now. No, love is just the feeling you feel with other perceivers in this grand universe, and I have learned that through the individual inspection of one seemingly infinite source of beauty. Some day, I might be able to reach the end of that well and I will have drained every bit of water out of that spongy rock, but, for now, I am Atlas and that rock is my Panacea. This means that, me being Atlas (one ferocious, passionate motherfucker), I may feel the need, one day, to look elsewhere for beauty, but, for now, I have found the bountiful banquet that I can feast on for... I don't know... maybe six months or so? We'll see... ;)

Righteously so, some may ask, "Well, who is this grand lady?" Ah, but a gentleman never tells, my young grasshoppers. For to let that secret fly out into the darkness, and to have someone have that power over you can be crippling. No, see, one day, my grand lady might read this blog post, and she isn't ready to know my love, yet. Therefore, the name remains a secret to prevent any erstwhile trolls from ruining the one thing I hold dear.

And, if you are bitter and reading this, due to lost loves, remember that someone out there is ready for your love and, if you can simply accept that what you want is to regain that love you lost and you will inevitably look for the features you saw in that first love in other partners, then don't be afraid to love. Just understand that others don't know what they're looking for as well as you do, and, sometimes, you need to save that pent-up energy for the wild nights of sex you'll have where the lines of communication can finally open fully. We have 576 gobsofazillion people on this planet. Someone out there is crazy enough to love you, and when you find them, as long as you keep looking and don't give up, MY GAWD!!! the awesome sex you will have. Just saiyan.

One Sunny Day

2011-03-07T16:10:00.000-06:00

Why, oh why, do you hide?

Behind cloud and night, you hide your light.

The moon and sky betray your trust.

Consumed with lust, they wake with dawn and dusk.

But can't you see the love we have, or do you know it wouldn't last?

Because when the light shines on our back, so frequently, our efforts lack

If the latter is your answer, then hide away.

But please come back, One Sunny Day.

Bubba Hotep

2010-08-28T20:44:00.005-06:00

Alright, so I watched this a while back and have since added it to my all-time collection. The movie's unique storyline is it's main draw. Elvis, played by Evil Dead's very own, apparently never died. Somehow, through a convoluted confluence of craziness (alliteration has been added to my repertoire. I apologize to those who have taken affect:) that quickly melted the heart of this closet conspiracy theorist, Elvis is actually alive and now living in a nursing home with a black guy (Ossie Davis) who thinks he's JFK and has an accompanying triple c to explain his existence. And the role of unifying antagonist to bring it all together? You guessed it. A butt-sucking mummy dubbed Bubba Hotep.

So, pretty much your typical b-movie horror storyline. The thing that made me like the movie was the commentary on Elvisesiss's(s) life and him getting older and looking back on how he had lived his life. In the beginning of the film, the tone is very dark, and Elvis is very regretful about how he lived his life. In a sense, you feel that the lesson should be to properly assess your decisions in life so you won't regret things later on. The lesson is never concluded that way, though, which is refreshing. Instead, the mummy appears. This antagonist and the need to stop it and protect what Elvis has learned to call home gives him a fresh, new passion for life. He feels reinvigorated and no longer seems to focus on his past, but his present. Now, the previous lesson's conclusion [spoiler warning] might be obtained in the fact that he saves Shady Rest (Elvis's retirement home) and this is admirable so he can now end his life without regrets.[/spoiler warning] Personally, though, I came away with the thought that it isn't so much about avoiding regrets, but simply continuing to chase your passions. The moment you stop is the moment you start regretting, no matter how altruistic of a life you lead.

Honestly, you can take either lesson from the movie and the nice thing is there are a lot of quotes that will cause you to ponder in this fashion, even years after watching the movie. The movie is well-written, although this may be attributed to the short story it's based on, and the visual representation did a good job of making you feel the emotions of the movie without taking away from your immersion in the story and causing you to take notice of whatever clever camera technique the director used. Another nice surprise was that, combined with the subtle-yet-effective set designs and camera work, the special effects, while poor, were especially well-used (absolutely loved the lighting effect when the mummy walks through the door towards the latter part of the movie) and didn't serve to make you take the film less seriously. The only exception to this would be the scenes where the scarab shows up, but I really don't think any cheap camera tricks would have done anything but make it look like the director was compensating and I think it gave the film a sort of comic relief while also progressing the horror aspect of the story, which, I think, was needed.

Now the negatives. Really, I can only think of two. While Ossie Davis, Bruce Campbell, and Heidi Marnhout acted wonderfully and the patients of Shady Rest were especially interesting and well-done, I felt that Reggie Bannister's and Ella Joyce's performances were certainly sub-par. Specifically, during a scene where Ella's character is taking a cigarette break, I winced at the way she acted and, from that point on, could not take her seriously as any sort of character. Now, Reggie Bannister has the same problem, but I think his character was meant to be two-dimensional. Ella's character, though, could have been so much more and it seemed that the writer wanted to portray her that way, but it just didn't come through that way.

All in all, I give it 95%. Ella's performance in no way detracts from the rest of the film although it does effect the score, taking it from a 99% to a 95% (will never give a 100%.) For most people, I believe this will be one of those movies you will be aching to show to your friends, just so you can watch it again. That's how it was for me at least.

Alright, so I'm Back

2010-08-28T17:19:00.002-06:00

So, I went on a bit of sabbatical and apparently completely forgot these blogs existed. Anyways, I'm back and should probably add unreliable to my list of character flaws.

Well, I'm going to college now. Will be, at least. I start fall quarter which I think is about three weeks away. I'm taking Spanish 1, Intro to Film, and Elementary Algebra. I f'd up the math portion of the accuplacer, so I have to retake some Math classes, but I did good on English(sic:) so I don't have to worry about that. I tried taking my English class this quarter but there's a waiting list. Probably best, because Math fucking sucks and I don't think I want to take Math and English in the same quarter.

Anyways, my plan is to do a double-major(cause I couldn't decide, something you'll find is a consistent trend) in film and teaching- English 6-12. There's probably a better name for the latter but that's what I signed up for. Indecision aside, I did this because if I want to drop a major later on, it won't count against me as far as financial aid is concerned, and if I keep both, I can teach high school film or something similar which is a whole other speaking point.

Also, not sure if I stated where I live, but I'm not in San Antonio, TX anymore. I'll be updating accordingly after this post, if needed. I moved to Olympia, WA. It is absolutely beautiful here. The masses are a little elitist but, like always, there are plenty of gems in the rough and people are people, just with their own little pathos trends from spot to spot.

Regardless, I have taken to an exaggeratively solitary existence, as of late. Not really sure why. Really confused and overwhelmed with all the life decisions I'm making right now and the torrent of changes my life has gone through and can't really seem to hold on to anything steady, let alone a friend or social gatherings.

Oh, mixed feelings about my occupation(although, who really doesn't have them?). I deliver newspapers to companies and shit for a living. Unique job and I like the way it functions. I don't have any hours, just whenever I finish the papers. Not really anyone to account to for the most part of my work, just get it done and get out of there. Don't have to talk to people too much.

Now for the negative. Fucking Sundays, work 7 days a week, get paid less than minimum wage. Pay is good enough for rent and a sparse living so I'm happy with that, really, just the social justice part of me cringes. :p The 7 days a week thing has been fine so far, but has been a problem as of late. I have been working for my landlord to pay rent, since I was out of a job a while ago, and the 7 days a week thing has made it especially hard to keep that going, along with setting up college, keeping up with the visits to the 'rents and finding ample time to piss away my day before I have to study like a bitch in college. And then Sundays... yeah.

Anyways, I think that's about everything. I'll be updating this place with some movie reviews, just cause I got a bunch I have seen worth reviewing and it'll give me an initial launching pad to keep me writing. In the betweens, we'll see what meandering, meaningless mania makes it's way out.

Children of Men

2007-03-04T19:31:00.000-06:00

Just got done watching a movie called Children of Men. It never really got a lot of publicity but it is fucking awesome

Okay, so the storyline goes the year is 2027. The movie drops in on a news report about the youngest person in the world has just died. You're asking yourself why is it such a big deal that the youngest person in the world has just died. I mean, people are born every second, that record isn't exactly going to hold long. Until you find out that the youngest person in the world is 18 years old! Apparently, all women became infertile in 2009. The movie takes place in England, the only country you know of that hasn't collapsed into complete chaos, complete being a key word there. England is being slammed by terrorist groups, citizens gone mad, and a a group of pro-immigrant activists called the Fishers. The English government has shut off it's borders completely and are hunting down any citizens that were not born on English soil and sending them to containment camps.

Anyways, it is really well done. There is a consistent feel, like in Half Life 2, that the main character is running away from something or someone and is alone on every front and not able to trust anyone. The thing that I really absolutely love about this movie is that it fully explores the situations your character is put in and you don't feel like you need to better understand one situation before you are swept off to another.

Anyways, you got the basics. It's an absolutely fantastic movie and you need to see it, so go watch it. What are you doing? Quit reading this and go watch the damn movie already!

Computer Voting

2007-03-02T23:58:00.000-06:00

Happened to watch a movie called Man of the Year. Y'know, that one movie with Robin Williams acting as President? Well, anyways, it wasn't flat-out amazing as a movie or anything although I don't especially like Robin Williams.

So, why am I talking about it? Well, because the core of the plot is that Robin Williams wins the election as an extreme underdog and finds out in the end that he won because of a computer glitch. Oh yeah, forgot to say, this also coincides with the nation switching over to a computer-managed voting system. Now, this interests me because I know that there is a heavy push for this type of voting system to come to pass. See, this scares me a little bit. Not so much the general idea, because I can think of a lot of things concerning voter security and legitimacy that would be protected by this act like the fact that there would be no opportunity to alter the votes during transportation or to have the votes altered by uber-patriotic soccer moms or over-zealous Kiwanis clubs. But, my problem is that there is a large voice of objection to this progression of thought on the basis that there needs to be some form of paper trail and that objection is being largely ignored by legislators which makes it mighty suspicious.

Now, for the system that I would suggest. Now, I have heard many more intelligent commentaries on this and most of this comes from issues concerning the coding but I know nothing about coding so I'll skip that issue. My input on this issue will be more strongly based on the idea of paper trails and individual confirmation of the legitimacy of votes.

Well, I was thinking what would be sufficient and I have come to this. Requirement number one would be a "voter receipt" essentially. Otherwise known as a little peace of paper you get right after voting that has who you voted for written on it. Requirement number two would be to have a "voter number." Now, I know there would be a lot of disagreement with this idea because votes are supposed to be anonymous but the fact that this number would be separate from any other identification number the person possesses and will only be used for voting, unlike an SSN that is found in everything, increases the possibility of making it anonymous. Now, why would one need a voter number anyways? Well, I figure that after the results are in the person can use the voter number to verify their vote after the fact and make sure that their vote was not altered somewhere in between point A and point B. The last requirement would be to have manual voting systems prepped and ready in case of a recount or something, at least until the system has been used for a good amount of time and has been proven to be reliable.

Alright, well, that's it for today, most likely. Alright, so time to watch some Scrubs. Yay!

The Purpose of Here

2007-03-02T03:58:00.000-06:00

Alright, so it seems I may use this and another blog I have consistently. Why? Well, because I have them and I figured out a way to use them both. Well, anyways, this one is going to be for more physical issues like "Went to the store" type things and direct references to certain events or such. Also, this will be the destination of finished trains of thought, i.e. poems, essays, and so on. My other blog will be for more of the incoherent fluid thought representation. Basically, things that aren't really about something in particular. Just things that I generally ponder.

Alright, now that that's finished, I'll give you a taste of what will go here. Alright, I have been introduced to this nifty new program called DM Secretary and I'm trying to get all my classes and such converted to this thing so I can have a one go-to place for all my stuff. Plus, any books my friends have can basically be mine, if my friends are nice. :p Anyways, one of the irritating things that will hopefully pay off is the fact that I am putting forth the extra effort to include in my classes via little notations all the references that would require you to usually flip over to a different book. Should be really nifty in the future but God is it irritating and time consuming now. Anyways, my only reader so far seems to be Moth so Moth, if you happen to like D&D and feel like writing some classes up, I've got three classes from Heroes of Battle drawn up that should be all good by themselves without the book if you want to exchange. The classes are Combat Medic, Dread Commando, and Legendary Leader. Tomorrow, I'm going to start on adding the Volley of Arrows rule (it's necessary for a commander aura which Legendary Leaders use) and adding the Leadership feats. After that, I'm thinking about adding the War Weaver for the helluvit and then adding the Artificer from the World of Warcraft campaign setting. After that, I have the Iron Heroes alternate rules and probably some stuff from Unearthed Arcana but I'll need a separate campaign file for the Iron Heroes stuff at least.

Anyways, got to do that one thing... ummmmm... what do they call it... starts with an S... slap? slip? Wait... sleep! That's it! G'bye, G'bye, G'bye!

The Nicene Creed

2007-03-01T22:54:00.000-06:00

Heh, went to a blog called The Aint-Christian and happened to think about the Nicene Creed, something that has continuously bugged me about the Christian religion. First, let me tell you what the Nicene Creed is. It is a statement of faith made in 325 AD and then edited in 381 AD. This statement of faith is agreed upon by every Christian generally except the Ethiopian Orthodox Church and it's offshoots, the Mormons, the Church of Christ, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Gnostics, and some other small non-influential denominations. It was made by a group of politicians at the time that ranged from councilmen, governors and the like, religious leaders, and philosophers.

Alright, so now to the problem I have with the Nicene Creed and the meetings that they were formulated at is this. See, the first troubling little fact is that the Nicene Creed and the meetings themselves and their decisions that came into fruition are not recorded in the Bible (well, at least not directly. Obviously, the Bible was influenced, otherwise there wouldn't be a problem). This means that these decisions altered the belief of an entire people and even other peoples that would now be considered separate from the original fore bearers of this creed. The second part of this meeting that makes it ultimately most disturbing is that these decisions were not made by people that were "ordained by God" or whatever phrase you want to use. They were fairly typical people that made these decisions that have no concrete connections to being legitimate ties to be the definitive voice of the Christian people. Now this would be a different issue if EVERY denomination at the time was being represented, but many were not. The Gnostics were notoriously excluded from these decisions, (a group started by Joseph, brother of Jesus, and the only opposition to the faith that was essentially started by Paul, not Jesus), the Ethiopian Orthodox Church had no inclusion on these decisions, despite the fact that they have remained unedited to our knowledge to this very day, and the Messianic Jews that kept the Jewish faith while accepting Jesus as the new savior.

So, why does this disturb me? I mean, I'm not a Christian so why should it bother me? Well, it's because I do believe that there are a lot of truths found in Christianity and I do believe it is divine in a sense, so to alter it without certain verifiable controls makes me uncomfortable. Not to mention that the changes were made "behind the curtains" in a way, and had such a huge influence on the whole of the religion without expressly notifying its believers or keeping an accurate record of its happenings. Plus, I do want Christians, just as I want Atheists, Buddhists, and so on to accurately debate and test their own religion, and for a Christian to find out that their belief is not necessarily the same belief that Jesus himself may have had or any of the true fore fathers of their religion would have followed, and to raise this question hurts their case.

So, anyways, I think I covered it. There ya go. Someday, maybe I'll tackle the devastation that is the King James Translation and the effect the Middle Ages may have had on the legitimacy of the Catholic Religion. Until then, I say good day, sir.

My Religious View

2007-03-01T04:44:00.000-06:00

So here it is. It can best be described as a Universalist Unitarian point of view, since it assumes that most religions are right. My entire religious belief is based on the idea that no other religion that is just and true in EVERY way can exclude other religions from being correct by assuming that the god that they refer to is instead a collective consciousness of the people. Given that Confucianism opposes Taoism and so on, but these are from strictly opinion-based subjects. Not from actual recording of events i.e. if Buddhism stated that Jesus never existed. One problem may be that Muslim religion denies that Jesus is the Son of God (the one that is conceived by the Collective Consciousness to convey a message of great importance) but I think this is just Mohammed stating that Jesus is not the direct offspring of some physical being, but is another enlightened one that has come to bring us closer to the truth of our existence. Actually, I believe Mohammed, without realising it, states this BECAUSE God is not a physical being, but rather a spiritual being, and therefore can't have a son as the world defines a son at the time. Also, to be clear, the Collective Consciousness is not just a link between each and every individual person, but rather a conscious spiritual being that has the knowledge of the entire human race and any other sentient race in existence and judges things, according thereof. Also, on the issue of reincarnation, reincarnation, I think, is just showing that some or all entities that are part of the collective consciousness come back to further extend the knowledge of society, explaining what prophets and the like are and how actual growth takes place. Also, as to some or all, I say this because religions speak of a perpetual cycle (even Buddhism, because it states that one that is truly enlightened will choose to come back to Earth and be reincarnated, therefore continuing the cycle), i do not want to say all, in case there is somewhere where reincarnation is avoided. Also, it is fair to note that Christianity (this is the only religion I am well versed in) in no way says reincarnation does not exist, it simply doesn't mention it. Even with the concept of Heaven, Heaven is only seen as a destination AFTER the Armageddon and not before, so my belief is that Heaven is simply when the sentient races achieve all-encompassing moral knowledge and can create an intellectual Utopia where mortality is not needed to speed up the moral growth and curiosity, so reincarnation ends it's cycle. Hell is the place where the part of the social consciousness that is flawed, because before achieving Utopia there has to NOT be a Utopia, is separated from the part that isn't flawed. What dictates the date of Armageddon is in question, because there are parts of us that are flawed now, and parts that aren't, so one could assume that we should have just separated at the beginning and been done with this. The only answer I can say to this is that the full truth and enlightenment have not been achieved. We have parts but for a Utopia to exist, we need all the parts of it, and we simply have not discovered those parts as a Collective Consciousness.

Terrified

2007-03-01T04:02:00.000-06:00

Terrified,
these are the reasons:
too many decisions to choose from
nothing fits me quite right, y'know?
what if it isn't really all that great?
but everything they do is so... fake
where is the money in all of this?
where is the meaning in all of this?
will everyone be happy with what i choose?
am i just giving up and lowering my standards?
what if i fail?

This is the Reason:
What if I succeed?
Does the story really start there?
Or is it just the beginning of...
Terrified.